The Hipster Handbook Vol. 1 Issue 2.

The 3/4 Beanie aka The Slouch Beanie




New hipsters do not try this at home. Only the upper echelon in the Hipsterdom can pull this off. The 3/4 Beanie is the 'f*ck you gravity I am going to look cool even if this beanie looks like its about to fall of my head.' It takes months, no, years to master the balance of 'sloucheeness' with 'functionality'. Once the above is mastered, you enter a class system that even Mother Teresea wouldn't f*ck with.


Here it is: the more rolls in your 'beanie' the more influential, affluent, cool, hipster-esque you are. Like fat people the more rolls you have the bigger you are. It is a sign of power, like the rolls on the back of a bouncer's neck. If some hipster has over 3 rolls that like 20 in Bouncer rolls, meaning what they say goes.

The history of this look is shrouded in mystery. Did it evolve from a more mainstream look like the navy beanie, or did it come to be in the biblical era? We may never know.

So go to goodwill or another Hipster Approved Store and pick out a beanie in a Hipster Approved Color, something we will discuss later.

Hipster Vanacular Issue 1.

The first gem from the hipsterdom vanacular (slang) a variation on the word 'dude'.

Duu-(n) pronounced [Doooh]

1. A chap or fellow in you good favor.

Duu you tryin' to go gets sum tallboys?

2. A way to get another fellows attention.

Hey, duu.

alternate words: mayne, bro.

The Hipster Handbook Vol. 1 Issue 1.

For the first issue of The Hipster Handbook (A feature that teaches you how to EXUDE hipster) we start at the top, the flex-fit hat.

The key of wearing a hipster-esque hat is staying ironic and 'original'. Yes hipsters like sports, but rarely do they wear contraband from their beloved team. Hipsters and sports is another topic all together. Now it really does not matter where the hat is positioned, just whatever fits you. Just don't look too goofy.

Example: I am an avid TrailBlazer fan, but i wear a SF Giants, LA Dodgers, or Pittsburgh Pirtates hat.



The worse the team or more obscure the better (bonus for European sports).


This key of this hat is keeping the bill flat, do I need to repeat that? keep the bill flat. The LA hat to the left is incorrect in the hipsterdom, the curve of the bill is for people who play baseball. Hipsters don't play 'sports' at least competitively, unless you can roll your pant leg up. The curved bill is a symptom of playing sports like baseball, the progression from the baseball cap to a hipster statment is pretty simple.

Baseball hat>>>Gangsta hat>>>Hipster statement

Ok, to make it simple here is a math equation on how to pick out a hat.

(Losses-Wins)*Sport bonus[*2 for baseball *10 for NHL]-degree of hat bend+the your personal knoweldge of that team (out of 100, 100 being no knowledge)

So for a Pittsburgh hat

(95-67)*2-0+95=151

If its above 100 then your cleared to wear that hat.


tomorrow we cover the infamous 1/4 beanie.

Welcome to the hipsterdom

Welcome.
Your home for Breaking Hipster News, How-To's, Call-Outs, and wearing your bright color beanie as far off your head as possible.